Life Lifestyle Motivation

Self Love: A beginner’s guide

Self love: A beginner's guide

Self love is about way more than yelling “self love” when you make an expensive purchase at the begining of the month (that you know will leave you broke through the month but you do it anyway).

Self love means looking out for your own happiness and putting yourself first. Some people think that this borders on egotism, selfishness or whatever. However, I feel like if you have the basic understanding of what it is and how to practice it, you won’t be making that mistake. When you respect yourself it’s hard not to respect others. Here are a few self love tips to get you started.

Forgive yourself

There’s nothing worse than beating yourself up about something in the past that you cannot change. Carrying the guilt just becomes an unhealthy burden and you need to let it go. Everybody makes mistakes and we’ll keep making them and learning new lessons for as long as we live. Make room for new experiences instead of dwelling in the past.

Stop pretending that everything is okay.

If something bothers you, let it be known. I am yet to meet a mind reader so unless you communicate properly, no one will know that a particular comment, action or inaction upset you. Also, it doesn’t have to be negative. You can tell people what you like and enjoy so they can do more of that with you.

Stop diminishing your light.

Sometimes in a bid to make people comfortable we end up hiding ourselves and our capabilities. This shouldn’t be you queen! If you are good at something, respectfully let it be known. You never know where the next opportunity that needs your expertise might come up and if you keep diminishing your light no one will even know to consider you. Protecting people’s egos is not your job! Especially when it might be detrimental to your mental health.

Be okay with the fact that not everyone likes you.

Let’s be real, you don’t like everyone you’ve ever met in your life so why are you expecting everyone to like you? If in this life that we are living there are people that don’t like the delicious goodness that is yams, who are you? Find your type of people and learn how to manage your expectations. Also, don’t go asking “why don’t you like me?” That’s just tacky, just be okay with it.

You don’t need everybody’s approval.

This is similar to the point above but a little different. If you know that you’re good at something and are content with your skills, you really don’t need everybody’s approval. This is exactly why finding a target audience for everything is important. What i’ve noticed is that not needing people’s approval gives you this aura of confidence. A very simple example is instagram posts and likes, not everyone would engage with your content but that shouldn’t stop you from doing your thing.

Be honest, true and you.

Say how you feel, the real ones won’t go anywhere. Also, you should know that being fake is not sustainable. You’ll get tired of keeping up the pretence. Imagine always having a smiley, bubbly personality which isn’t really you and then one day you just unravel because you didn’t like how your spoon fetched your soup. Think about it, is that what you want? Show your emotions, you’re human not a Barbie doll. Take it a day at a time and stay true to you.

If you feel tired, rest.

This should be a no-brainer, if you are tired, take a break. This generation will have you feeling that everyone is on a productivity high and you’re just not doing anything. Do not fall for the scam. It’s okay to take a break the sky won’t fall. However, if you’re constantly feeling tired you should probably see a doctor.

Be real about people’s toxic traits

Use this to decide whether to stay or leave. Don’t make excuses for bad behaviour. If you have a friend that’s always negative you need to be real about that person’s negativity to yourself. If you choose to keep being friends with this person it’s okay just as long as you know that they are toxic and you know just how much of it you can handle.

Build yourself up.

Never think that what you know is enough. Learn new skills and update your knowledge on a skill you already have. Meet new people and learn from them. Make good use of YouTube university to learn things. Make money and save money because trust me there’s more to see in life. Your skills, network and/or wealth will take you a long way.

Self love is a thrilling journey and even though some people do theirs differently, the general goal is to be happy and content with oneself. I hope that you found these little tips helpful.

You might enjoy this post on Self-care

Xx

Fati

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