This year has been a lot!Fati
That quote up there summarises my life lately. There has been so much bad news and pain around the world and it seems like we are all just playing catch-up in a weird game with ever-changing rules.
Imagine being alive when the world is trying to understand a contagion! Being on quarantine to save our lives! We all deserve a collective applause.
I have seen so many people doing really amazing things during this quarantine (this includes TikTok videos) and to them I say good job! I have gone from panicking to depressed to being anxious, feeling useless and finally just accepting our current situation. The most important thing is that I’ve learnt that just being alive is enough. Several things have contributed to the rollercoaster of emotions that I’ve been waltzing through…
God: Now more than ever, I’ve found that getting closer to God has taken away most of my worries. I am a religious person (at least I think so) and I had a crazy time at the beginning of all this when I lost hope and believed we were all going to die. However, increasing my ibadah during this month of Ramadan and seeing people getting discharged reminded me of Allah’s mercy.
Work: My 9 – 5 (because I need money for ‘adulting’) gave us a break well before the stay-at-home order was imposed. This was all good because it showed that they cared about our health. Sadly, the anxiety of “will they or won’t they” pay salaries is ever present. This made it glaringly obvious that my current job is not it! I need something better, I need security!. However, we are all at home and finding a job is not easy so…
Job searches: Daily newsletters from the job board I have subscribed to litter my inbox. You can also find application letters and several rejection letters in the mix. Before the whole quarantine thing, I applied for a fellowship and had lofty ideas about how much of a boost learning from experts would give me. Well, I received a rejection letter that was sent four times for good measure. I mean I’m not bitter but I can handle sending a mail without demonstrating slight incompetence. *sigh* I am still applying though and I pray something clicks soon.
Clothes: My current wardrobe consists of boubous (free gowns), sweatpants and pyjamas at the moment. I frankly wonder if bras and other pieces of “uncomfortable” clothing would make a comeback when we get through this. We’ll see I guess. I dressed up to take pictures for this post so yay!
TV Series: I enjoy watching tv series because the storyline is longer than the generic 90 minutes you get with a movie. So far, I keep up with my usual weekly offerings like Harley Quinn, Killing Eve, Insecure and the just concluded How to get away with murder. Also, I have decided to rewatch Fringe which if you have watched the series, you’d agree that it was made for a pandemic binge session. “Walter Bishop” may have the answers we seek.
Skincare: I have been trying not to run out of my products lol. While I don’t think that this is something sustainable, I’d love to see how long It’ll last. When the time comes to restock best believe I’ll be spraying my package down with a disinfectant before opening it.
Haircare: I have relaxed hair and was due for a touch-up last month but salons are not essential businesses. I’ve been putting my hair in protective styles, deep conditioning and just doing all I can to manage the different textures I currently have. However, I get headaches when it’s this full so that has not been fun. I might have to just do some DIY relaxer application soon.
Books: I used to blaze through book titles like my life depended on it and this time at home has made me remember that feeling. My most recent read was House of flesh and blood (Crescent City) by Sarah j Maas, I love her books! Also, I am waiting on the next book in The Goddess isle series by Pepper Winters and my TBR (to be read) list is overflowing with books that I cannot wait to enjoy.
Fitness: Zero… Nothing… Zilch. I have done nothing to keep fit. As a matter of fact the last time I stepped outside the gates of this house was mid-april. I know I should, but I don’t feel like it and that’s okay.
Blog: I have so many ideas and drafts that are either incomplete or not yet published. Some are time-sensitive (based on the content) and some aren’t but my procrastination reigns supreme. I cannot even promise anything but I’ll post more on here and on Instagram In sha Allah.
Through all of this I’d like to report that I am staying sane. I am not okay by some standards but I am well enough by most and that is all that matters. To say that I am beyond ready for this pandemic to end is an understatement. I pray that we as a species find a lasting cure.
How has life been for you lately? Let’s have a chat in the comments section.